For the most part, I consider myself to be a modern woman. I pay my own bills, I have my own (rented) flat, I can look after myself and I can even spend time on my own with out any problems. But there is one area that I think I feel like I may have a bit of a more traditional/old fashioned outlook, and this is dating.
I’ve been single now for about 4 months, and whilst I’m not in any hurry to find a boyfriend and lose some of my new found independence, I figure that there is no harm in looking. So I have signed up to a couple of dating sites to have a look what is available “on the market” at the moment. I have messaged a few guys and received a few as well, but I can help but feel a little frustrated by it sometimes.
Of course I have had a few weird messages, it seems to be part of the experience unfortunately. But there are other creatures that I have come across that are hard to define.
I have come across a few guys that are like this: “thanks for your message, you seem really nice but… I’ve recently met someone so will be deleting my profile soon.” and you seen that a few weeks later, they are still logging in.
You get the ones where conversation is extremely painful, like getting blood out of a stone, then they wonder why you aren’t replying any more. My theory is, if you can’t have a decent conversation in text form, then verbal is going to be even worse, surely?!
Then you have the ones you actually manage to get on with, you go on a date, they tell you how they really like you, how they would love to meet up again. Then you hear nothing from, or you do, but not a lot. Then when you’ve moved on to talking or even going on dates with someone else, they seem put out.
This is the part where I’m more traditional I suppose. I don’t want to be the one making all the effort to contact a guy. My philosophy is, if he is interested, he will do all he can to make sure he stays in touch. Even if our schedules are clashing, with technology how it is at these days, there isn’t really much excuse for not keeping in touch. Even if it’s just the one message to explain that things have been hectic or what have you.
If I like a guy, I do tend to go into contact overload. I text a lot, even if I haven’t heard from them since the last one I sent (we are talking gap of a day rather than minutes). But I am starting to feel like this makes me seem desperate or something. Is it crazy for me to feel like I’m wanted.
I happen to think I’m a damn good catch, and once it’s obvious that we mutually appreciated each others company, I shouldn’t have to chase after men, it should be the other way around!
I saw this somewhere on the internet the other day, and it felt like it summed it up quite well for me.
Is this a bit of an old fashioned view point? I don’t know, maybe. But I know that I refuse to do the chasing any more. I am getting too long in the tooth to be wasting my time on men that make it feel like they aren’t bothered. Regardless of what they say. Actions speak louder than words.
Maybe I’m just being too sensitive to these things and I need to learn to chill out a lot more.
This evening I have officially got into my first singledom slump. One of those evenings where is seems almost everyone on your Facebook or Twitter or even friends texting you are talking about weddings or babies or maybe even both.
I know these days are going to come and go. But this evening it is bothering me. Not in a horrible way. I am genuinely happy for my friends. But it is times like these that I wonder if it will ever happen for me.
It probably doesn’t help that I haven’t had the best of Monday’s. My week was nicely kicked off by waking up to the feeling that my neck was twice it’s usual width due to the glands being swollen with cold. Confirming that my scratchy throat from the weekend wasn’t bad hay fever after all but the beginnings of a cold. Great.
Then I had a ladies issues appointment with the nurse. Completely undignified and uncomfortable. So yeah. Not the best start to the week.
I’m also in a massive Slimming World slump. I need to try and restart with my original enthusiasm. I need to remind myself why I joined in the first place. Set myself some targets to achieve and actually get the hell on with it! No excuses. No reasons to sabotage myself.
Things are not going to change unless I change them.